You have made it through your first week in the camp. You got to know your roommates and have a tight grip on your class schedule.
Your 8 am class drags on....................................and on.
"Encore, si vous plait. Je m'appelle..." you hear your professor say faintly. But you aren't paying attention. Oh no. Not with the breathtaking view that surrounds you. You can still feel the vibrations of the culture shock in your skin.
Oh shit.
Your class was outside today, and you're day dreaming. Gazing towards the gorgeous, never ending Mediterranean to your left.
so much beauty. E V E R Y W H E R E.
You look at the time. Class is almost over. Freedom. As your professor dismisses class...
Merci a tout!
you gather your things and head to lunch. You and your friends decide to take the bus to Nice for the day, and do some shopping in the infamous market. After a long day of class and shopping, you head back to camp for curfew. The sun sets behind the mountains.
Nighttime welcomes you with a delicious dinner of Croque Monsieur and some music at the disco.
Your friend Jess leans in and whispers "Wanna go to a real party?"
You sneak away from the "supervised fun", slipping into the dark to the dorms where some of your guy friends stay. You aren't even halfway there and already you are hit in the face with a wall of strong cologne.
Someone is trying too hard
You muster the courage to go into Antoine's room. The whole gang is here. Everyone from class, even one of your roommates.
"Nothing about this room is right, but then again, everything about this room is right" -(whatisatextstudent)
You notice Jess has a red cup in her hand
Howd that get there?
You see everyone has one. The new accessory tonight?
S
O cups.
L
O
You're curious. You walk over to the kitchen table, and you are greeted with bottles of liquid you had never really hung out with before. Everyone seems to be friends with these bottles. They are the life of the party, along with their friends, Coke and Sprite.. and their distant cousin, Cranberry Juice.
"What will it be, sweetie?". The guy behind the counter is the headmaster of the night. Everyone lines up to have some of his liquid courage. You recognize him from class. "I'll have a little of the vodka with Coke" you say timidly. He grabs the bottle and you see he knows how to work it. Like it was meant to be in his hand.
You drink is ready.
On the table.
Ready. Set. Go
You take a sip. Then a gulp.
Woa.
You have never tasted anything like it. The taste is strong. It burns your throat like nothing else.
Before you know it, you have had three of those delicious cups.
You begin to feel the warmth in your face.
Backwards.
Spinning. Spinning. gninnipS. gninnipS. gninnipS....
The room is unsteady. Like water. F l o w i n g. You notice everything is humorous, you laugh and laugh at at every other word spoken to you. You cant
Walk.
You
are
Stumbling. Everywhere.
No turning back now.
You are too
far
gone.
The first thing I would like to note is that you wrote this post in second person. Most of the time, I do not particularly enjoy reading stories that are written in this format. However, with your blog post, it did not bother me at all. I was so intrigued with your story right from the beginning. I really liked how you used “………….” To show time passing, and how you would throw random French phrases into your story. I thought that the pictures could’ve been a little more discreet, but if that doesn’t bother you, then I don’t really have a huge problem with it. Honestly, I did not think that the music video was relevant/necessary—maybe if you included a caption explaining the meaning for it, readers would understand it better. I also was unsure as to why the video was placed directly in the middle of the story. Maybe if it was played at the end it would have made more sense. It kind of threw me off for a few moments because I was trying to find the hidden meaning behind it.
ReplyDelete“ Howd that get there?
You see everyone has one. The new accessory tonight?
S
O cups.
L
O “
I love the way that you spaced out all of these words in ways that make readers notice how important they are to the story.
“ You
are
Stumbling. Everywhere.
No turning back now.
You are too
far
gone. “
While reading this part, I was basically in tears because iw as laughing so hard. You somehow managed to present these words in such a way that I actually felt drunk reading them. I am very impressed with this technique, and will definitely be incorporating this tactic into my future blog posts. Also, I liked how the title was, “My first time”. It tells readers beforehand that you have never drank alcohol before, without directly telling them. Great job!